My thanks to the Communications Committee for allocating me this spot as Musical Liturgy director.
My name is Polly Belbotham, and many of you will no doubt remember me from "Opportunity Knocks" a few years ago, where in a display of sexism (bellbottoms v hotpants - guess which Hughie preferred) and tactical voting by Clodagh Rodgers' Granny, who turned up her NHS hearing aid just as the clapometer microphone was near the front row, I was cruelly deprived of a glittering career with Eurovision.

I was disappointed to see that no other laywomen have been awarded their own tab, but I'm not one to complain. I was disappointed to learn that it has not been possible to transfer my previous wordpress blog postings, as the rich tradition of music in the Diocese of Trollbridge over the last 45 years deserves to be better known. Neveretheless we are living in exciting times as I said to my friend Mike Oldfield last year at Cropredy, in the Theakstons Old Peculiar Tent. Although Canon Lewis had assured me that the so-called "New" Mass would not get anywhere, it appears to have "gone live" so to speak, which leads to an opportunity for a new hymnal from BellBottom Tunes a mutual enrichment of music and liturgy and I am busy composing some new settings in conjunction with my fellow composer Monsignor McM'Enemy, Chair of the Musical and Associated Liturgical Kominterna for Innovation and Enterprise, who oversee all music published and performed in a range of dioceses not sewn up by us outside our remit. More of this later.

Meanwhile, we are actively seeking more women to join the Music Committee. Musical experience not necessary, but must be a cat lover, and demonstrate an in-depth knowledge of Joan Armatrading's musical oeuvre.